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“We’ve lived together for seven years, so we’re basically married in the eyes of the law.” It’s one of the most persistent myths in family law, repeated at dinner tables and on social media alike. In New Jersey, it simply isn’t true. No matter how long you share a home, a bank account, or a last name, living together does not make you legally married, and New Jersey does not recognize common law marriage. Understanding why—and what that means for your property, your support, and your family—can spare you a painful surprise if the relationship ends or your partner passes away.
New Jersey abolished common law marriage on December 1, 1939. Under N.J.S.A. 37:1-10, a marriage entered into in the Garden State is valid only if the couple first obtains a marriage license and then has the marriage solemnized by an authorized officiant, such as a judge, mayor, or member of the clergy. Holding yourselves out as husband and wife, filing joint tax returns, or even raising children together does not substitute for those formal steps.
The “seven-year rule” that so many people believe in has never been part of New Jersey law. Even in states that still permit common law marriage, there is no fixed number of years that automatically creates one.
There is one important exception. New Jersey generally honors a marriage that was valid where it was formed. A handful of jurisdictions, including Colorado, Texas, Iowa, and the District of Columbia still allow couples to create a common law marriage. Pennsylvania permitted them until January 1, 2005. If you and your partner met that state’s requirements while living there—typically an agreement to be married, living together, and presenting yourselves publicly as spouses—New Jersey courts will ordinarily treat you as married.
A weekend trip or vacation, however, is not enough. The couple must satisfy the other state’s legal standard, and proving that can require substantial evidence, such as joint documents, witness testimony, and records showing how you described your relationship at the time.
Unmarried partners sometimes pursue what is informally called “palimony,” a claim based on a promise of financial support made during the relationship. For years, New Jersey courts enforced such promises even when they were only spoken. That changed in 2010, when the Legislature amended the Statute of Frauds, N.J.S.A. 25:1-5(h). Now, a promise by one partner in a non-marital relationship to support the other is enforceable only if it is in writing and made with the independent advice of counsel for each party. Without that paperwork, a verbal assurance to “always take care of you” will likely carry little legal weight.
Because New Jersey treats long-term partners as legal strangers to one another, a breakup or death can leave one partner in a vulnerable position. Unmarried couples generally do not have:
Children are the notable exception. Custody, parenting time, and child support are determined based on the child’s best interests and each parent’s obligations, whether or not the co-parents were ever married.
If marriage isn’t in your plans, careful planning can fill many of the gaps the law leaves open:
For couples who do want the full set of legal rights and obligations, a licensed and solemnized marriage remains the only path in New Jersey.
Whether you are ending a long-term relationship, questioning whether an out-of-state union is valid, or hoping to protect a partner you don’t plan to marry, the dedicated and experienced family law team at O’Cathain Law Group Family Law Department can help you understand where you stand. Contact us today to learn more about common law marriage in New Jersey.